Drillbit Taylor

STARRING: Owen Wilson View Trailer RELEASE DATE: 03/21/2008 DATE SCREENED: 02/23/2008 The Verdict NOT GOOD - Wait for cable

Judd Apatow (as producer) and Seth Rogen (as writer) follow up the success of Superbad with the more family friendly Drillbit Taylor. The film chronicles two friends, Ryan and Wade, as they embark on their first weeks of high school. Ryan is the funny fat guy and Wade is the skinny nerd. Although they were ridiculed in Jr. High, they are determined to change their fortunes in high school.

Ryan & Wade’s first day of school does not get off to a good start, as the excitement of their first day is crushed when they arrive at the school bus stop wearing the same shirt. Upon arriving at school, Wade speaks up for a small kid being stuffed into a locker by a bully named Filkins. Filkins turns his attention on the two buddies, as they are easy targets with their matching shirts. The kid being stuffed into the locker, Emmit, latches on to Ryan and Wade. The three of them are forced to endure constant abuse every day at the hands of Filkins. They eventually come up with the ingenious idea of hiring a body guard to protect them at school. An ad in a magazine draws the attention of many bodyguards looking for easy work, but with their lack of finances they are forced to hire Drillbit Taylor, played by Owen Wilson. Drillbit is a “down on his luck” homeless man looking for a few dollars to start a new life in Canada. He pretends to be a former soldier, who will not only offer protection, but teach the boys how to fight themselves. Drillbit is a funny and likeable guy who is making up things as he goes along. He ends up pretending to be a substitute teacher, who makes life miserable for the bully Filkins while seducing one of the other teachers. As Drillbit grows more and more fond of the kids, a few of his homeless buddies hatch a plan to rob their homes. Drillbit must protect the kids from the bully, and his so-called friends, while not being discovered as an imposter.

Owen Wilson is playing his typical fast talking, silly, character that we have seen many times before. He can do this kind of role in his sleep. If you are a big fan of his, you will surely like him here. The kids are likeable as well, as they do the best they can with the material. The problem is that the material is not very funny. The fat kid's rap battle with the bully is one of the film's funnier moments, but I could see most of the jokes coming and I’ve tired of Owen Wilson’s act. Apatow and Rogen must have been outcasts as kids, as the movies they work on together all have similar themes of geeks overcoming some adversity. But their raunchier versions of this theme, like Knocked Up, Superbad, or 40 Year Old Virgin are much more enjoyable. Plus, that theme was done best in Revenge of the Nerds back in 1984. There was only a small audience at the screening, and there wasn’t much laughter. The kids seemed completely uninterested. The movie does have some funny moments, but they are few and far between. Wait for it to come on cable, unless you are a huge Owen Wilson fan.

Never Back Down

STARRING: Djimon Hounsou, Sean Faris View Trailer RELEASE DATE: 03/14/2008 DATE SCREENED: 02/21/2008 The Verdict OK - Wait for the DVD

Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) began to emerge in 1993 with the Ultimate Fighting Championship, which was based on the concept of putting different styles of fighters inside a cage, with minimal rules, and then seeing who exits the cage victorious. Since those humble beginnings, MMA has grown into a huge international sport seen on cable TV and pay-per-view, with millionaire athletes who also make appearances in TV shows and movies. It was only a matter of time before Hollywood started churning out MMA films, with Never Back Down being the first that I’ve seen.

Never Back Down is not exactly an original story. Jake Tyler is a high school football star with a violent streak and an attitude, due to the death of his father. When mom moves the family to a new neighborhood, Jake becomes the “fish-out-of-water” at a new high school full of rich kids. When a YouTube video begins circulating of one of Jake’s brawls on the football field, he is lured to a party in which the main attraction is the students staging their own MMA fights. It seems that in this high school, it’s not the captain of the football or basketball team that is the most popular. It’s the best fighter, who in this case is a kid named Ryan. Ryan ends up kicking Jake’s butt at the party, and Jake is soon at a MMA training school run by Jean Roqua, played by Djimon Hounsou. Of course, Roqua teaches his students not to fight outside of the gym, but Jake has a started dating Ryan’s girlfriend and just can’t let his defeat go. As expected, the film culminates in a final MMA showdown between Jake and Ryan.

The only thing original about this film is the Mixed Martial Arts. I’m a big fan of MMA, and boxing is a dying sport in my mind. It was good to see MMA on the big screen, but the problem is that the MMA isn’t that good. This movie is basically a simple American kung fu movie, with MMA in place of the kung fu. Like almost all American kung fu movies, Never Back Down’s fight scenes are poorly edited in order to make up for the fact that the actors aren’t great fighters. Djimon tries his best to add some credibility to the film, with a good performance as Roqua, but it’s not enough to make up for the other mediocre actors. I never grew to care about any characters other than Roqua, so I didn’t really care about the final fight. There are a lot of fights in the movie, which is good, and you do get to see small snippets of exciting MMA action. I applaud the effort to make a MMA film, but the execution needs work. Hopefully, the next movie about MMA will aspire to be better. Wait for the DVD.

Penelope

STARRING: Christina Ricci, James McAvoy View Trailer RELEASE DATE: 02/29/2008 DATE SCREENED: 02/14/2008 The Verdict OK - Wait for the DVD

Penelope is yet another film based on a children’s book of the same name. It originally premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival back in September of 2006. It finally sees the light of day in 2008, but that’s not exactly a good sign when a movie sits on the shelf for almost 2 years.

Penelope stars Christina Ricci, who proved that she had a lot more acting talent that I thought in last years’ Black Snake Moan. Generations ago, a witch sought revenge on the Wilhern family by placing a curse on the family. The curse stated that the next girl born in the family would have the face of a pig, until one of her own kind was able to fall in love with her. Ricci plays the title character Penelope, who was the first girl born in the family, sporting the nose and ears of a pig, neither of which can be removed through surgery. Peneope’s mother Jessica, played by Catherine O'Hara, fakes Penelope’s death in order to raise her in secret, away from the prying eyes of doctors, scientists, and tabloid journalists. Once Penelope turns 18, Penelope's mother begins the process of finding another “blueblood” who will marry her daughter. A succession of guys are brought to the home to meet Penelope, and are forced to sign contracts stating that they will never reveal her condition. All of these men end up running away at the sight of Penelope. One tabloid reporter, played by little man Peter Dinklage, is determined to get the first picture of Penelope. He hires Max, James McAvoy, to pretend to be a suitor in order to snap that picture. Max begins to take a liking to Penelope and refuses to hand over said picture. Upon learning that Max was hired to come meet her, Penelope decides to steal mom’s credit card and move out on her own, always keeping her face covered with a scarf. That doesn’t last long, as soon the scarf is off and Penelope’s picture is all over the newspapers. But to her entire family’s shock, people like Penelope and she becomes a local celebrity. A former suitor jumps back into the picture, offering to marry Penelope so that the curse can be broken. Soon thereafter, Max is back in the picture as well. What is poor Penelope to do now that she has two men to choose from?

The best thing this film has going for it is the cast. It’s a silly, predictable, story. The cast does their best to elevate it. Reese Witherspoon even shows up as a messenger who befriends Penelope soon after she leaves home. Ricci and MacAvoy do their best, and Dinlage is my favorite little man in Hollywood. But the movie tries to hard too be sweet, and is just too predictable. Ricci doesn’t even look that bad as Penelope, so it never makes sense when guys even jump through windows to get away from her. Those scenes are meant to be funny, but aren’t. The movie is based on a children’s book, but I couldn’t get a sense as to whether or not the children at the screening enjoyed it. It's not going to be easy to market this film, which is probably why it has been on the shelf for so long. It's not completely clear who the target audience is, although in general terms it's a family film. Wait for the DVD.

The Spiderwick Chronicles

STARRING: Freddie Highmore, Sarah Bolger View Trailer RELEASE DATE: 02/14/2008 DATE SCREENED: 01/31/2008 The Verdict GOOD - See it in the theater

The fantasy film genre has been a disappointment lately, with films like The Golden Compass and Bridge to Terabithia not living up to my expectations. I was completely unaware of the impending release of The Spiderwick Chronicles. This film, based on a children’s book series of the same name, was flying completely under my radar. It turns out that this $100 million dollar movie has been advertised on Nickelodeon since the end of last summer.

The Spiderwick Chronicles is the story of three kids, twins Jared and Simon and their older sister Mallory, whose lives have been uprooted, as their parents separate and their mother moves them from NYC to a creepy old house in the middle of nowhere. The house was owned by a deceased relative named Arthur Spiderwick. Jared is the more rebellious and angry of the siblings, so when strange things begin to happen in the house he is the one who is blamed. Jared discovers a book, Arthur Spiderwick's Field Guide, and it details a world of faeries, goblins, ogres, and other creatures. This is a world juxtaposed with our own, but outside of normal human perception. When Jared discovers the book, a creature assigned to protect it reveals himself to him. Nobody in the family will believe Jared when he says that the things in the book are true. Jared soon makes the mistake of taking the book outside, where it is seen by goblins who have had the house under surveillance for years, waiting for an opportunity to grab that book and give to an ogre named Malgrath. The house is surrounded by a circle of magic that protects it, so the book can only be snatched by the goblins outside of the circle. While the mother is at work, the kids are attacked by the goblins once they wander outside of the circle. The kids band together to protect themselves, with Mallory’s fencing skills coming in handy. A friendly creature gives the kids the ability to perceive this world on their own, and they set out to find a relative who may know how to destroy the book. A few pages are taken by the goblins along the way. One of the pages details the magical circle of protection. Mulgrath plans an all out assault for that night, now that he can concoct a potion to take down the magical wall. Mom comes home just in time, and the entire family, plus a couple of the “good” creatures, must stand their ground to protect the book.

This film was such a pleasant surprise. It has all the crucial elements of a good fantasy film. You have kids who stumble into a magical fantasy world of creatures, some of whom are good and some of whom are bad. The kids are then put in dangerous situations that they must fight their way out of without the help of their parents. The film has humor, and the kids have good chemistry with each other. The twins are actually played by one actor, Freddie Highmore, but he does an amazing job making the characters different and the special effects are seamless. The special effects team did a great job on this movie. Small children may find The Spiderwick Chronicle too scary, but this is a film that most families can enjoy together. And unlike Golden Compass, there is actually an ending. A very satisfying ending. This film has restored my faith in fantasy films, and I’m looking forward to even bigger and better things from the upcoming fantasy epic Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian.

Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show

STARRING: Vince Vaughn, Sebastian Maniscalco View Trailer RELEASE DATE: 02/08/2008 DATE SCREENED: 02/05/2008 The Verdict GOOD - See it in the theater

In 2005 Vince Vaughn decided to hit the road, doing 30 comedy shows in 30 nights, starring 4 relatively unknown comics that are friends of his. They all pack themselves on a bus, starting in Hollywood and ending up in Chicago, with a camera crew documenting the entire trip. The stand-up comedians are Ahmed Ahmed, John ‘Cap’ Caparulo, Bret Ernst & Sebastian Maniscalco. Along the tour, Vince does improvised skits in selected cities with Justin Long, Peter Billingsley (Ralphie from A Christmas Story), and Keir O'Donnell.

The film starts out showing us some of the comedy routines. We see the comedians do well, and we even see Sebastian bomb in San Diego with what I thought were great jokes about men in flip-flops. As the film goes along we learn more about the comics. We meet their families, and through conversations with the families and back stories from the comedians we get interesting insight into what makes these comedians tick. Things take a more serious turn as they are traveling through Louisiana when hurricane Katrina hit. They had to modify the tour schedule to avoid the hard hit areas. They also added benefit shows and handed out free tickets to hurricane survivors.

Every one of the 4 comedians is very funny. Each has a slightly different style of comedy, so everyone should be able to get some laughs from this movie. Ahmed jokes about his Egyptian background and how he is now assumed to be a terrorist. Bret does a lot of physical comedy, including a great routine about roller skating as a kid. Cap reminds you of Larry the Cable Guy and is the most ‘blue’ of the comedians, but then you realize why when you find out that his father let him listen to Richard Pryor albums from the time he was 4 years old. Sebastian always seems upset as he points out funny observations, ranging from men in flip flops to men who enjoy apple martinis.

The director, Ari Sandel, was on hand for a Q&A session after the film. He didn’t originally plan to interview everyone’s families, but that came about during the tour as families came out to the shows. He was pressed to pick a favorite comedian of the 4, and he said Sebastian. I would have to agree. To even be on the tour Sebastian had to take leave from waiting tables at an LA restaurant. I was glad to find out that he hasn’t worked as a waiter for another day since the tour. Definitely keep an eye out for him.

Vine Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show kept me interested and laughing throughout. Although Vince’s name is used to promote the film, he really steps back after the first 30 minutes and lets these comedians shine, on stage and off. See this one in the theater.

Rambo

STARRING: Sylvester Stallone View Trailer RELEASE DATE: 01/25/2008 DATE SCREENED: 01/23/2008 The Verdict GOOD - See it in the theater

The first two Rambo films stand as two of the finest examples of ‘80s action flicks. Throughout the ‘80s, Stallone and Schwarzenegger churned out kick-ass action films without the use of CGI special effects. The Rambo series took a downward turn with Part III, in 1988, but it was still entertaining. Stallone did a good job with the last Rocky film, which was better than the previous two sequels, but was not an action film. I had my doubts about whether he could make a successful return to the action film genre at his age and after so many years.

The film starts out with real images of the civil war in Burma, which has been going on for over 30 years. It’s more like a genocide than a civil war. The military has no problem wiping out entire villages. We soon learn that Rambo has been living in Thailand, catching dangerous snakes and selling them. As always, he’s trying to stay out of the way and mind his own business. But it wouldn’t be a Rambo movie unless his peaceful existence was interrupted. This time a group of missionaries need him to escort them to Burma in his boat so that they can help the people. Rambo’s response is that unless they have guns, they can’t help. The missionaries won’t take no for an answer, and eventually the pretty face in the group convinces Rambo to take them to Burma despite his repeated warnings to go home. While this back and forth is going on between Rambo and the missionaries, we get scenes of the Burmese military killing and raping villagers. They are extremely brutal, but that’s only the start of the brutality in this movie.

The missionary’s boat trip is interrupted by thugs who want to rape the only female in the group, who Rambo had taken a liking to. Rambo isn’t about to let that happen and quickly dispatches them. He has clearly not lost his skills. One of the missionaries is upset, claiming that there is never an excuse to take a life, but Rambo grabs him by the throat and is tempted to kill him for his insolence. Rambo drops them off in Burma and heads back home. Only days later, the missionaries end up being captured. A small team of mercenaries is hired for a rescue mission. Rambo is once again asked to make that trip down the river, with the mercenaries. Upon arrival in Burma, Rambo is ordered to stay by the boat. As soon as the mercenaries find themselves confronted by a few military soldiers, Rambo is there for the rescue, using his bow and arrows to pick off the soldiers. Having proven himself, he takes a leadership role in planning the rescue.

The rescue from the military camp and subsequent battle at the river is non-stop ‘80s style brutal violence. This violence is more brutal than what you would see in the ‘80s. Rambo kills people with his bare hands, with knives, and with a large machine gun that can blow off any limb. It’s like you are watching a war, with Rambo raking up the highest body count. The military were shown as being so evil throughout the film that the audience was cheering as Rambo exacted his brutal form of vengeance.

Rambo is not for the feint of heart. The violence is shockingly brutal and right in your face. I even saw people at the screening turn away or cover their eyes. Being such a huge fan of the ‘80s action film, I couldn’t help but enjoy it. I didn’t go expecting a great story. I went to see good action, and that’s what I got. If we had a Rambo in Iraq, that war would be over. Stallone has once again managed to end a movie franchise on a high note. See this one in the theater, assuming you don’t have a weak stomach.

Untraceable

STARRING: Diane Lane, Colin Hanks View Trailer RELEASE DATE: 01/25/2008 DATE SCREENED: 01/22/2008 The Verdict OK - Wait for the DVD

Before the screening of Untraceable, a couple of FBI agents gave a short recruitment speech and offered to speak with anyone who was interested in joining the FBI after the film. I somehow doubt they ended up with many inquiries, as Untraceable did not strike me as a good FBI propaganda film.

Diane Lane stars as Jennifer Marsh, an FBI agent in the cyber crime division. She works closely with Griffin, played by Tom Hank’s son Colin. They spend most of their days tracking people stealing credit card numbers over the Internet, or posing as an underage girl in order to catch some pedophile. Their usual day is interrupted when a new web site called killwithme.com makes its debut on the web. The site debuts with the murder of a cat, then quickly moves on to people. People are captured, then bound and gagged in some way. Their death is then streamed live through the web site. The more people that log on to the site, the faster some method of torture kills the victim. The FBI is on the case, but despite their best efforts the site can’t be shut down because it is “untraceable”, using some combination of servers in Russia. Although the site is untraceable, the person who runs the site has to physically capture people and also dump the bodies. So he himself is not untraceable. As the FBI begins to close in, Griffin, Jennifer, and her family become the new targets. Jennifer must catch this madman not only because it’s her job, but also to save her family.

The film is trying to make some kind of point about the sick people who scour the internet for footage of live deaths. With each new capture, killwithme becomes more popular. And when the FBI calls a press conference to tell people to avoid the unnamed site, people are more determined to find it. But this point is overshadowed by the contrived plot points that everyone will see coming. This movie makes everything seem easy. It only takes a day to track down and arrest someone stealing credit card information, then it’s easy to set up untraceable web sites in any basement, and then it’s easy to find an FBI agent’s address and family info. I don’t see why FBI recruiters are recruiting after a film that makes it seem easy for a killer to come after an FBI agent. On the positive side, there are some tense moments, and the ending was a definite crowd pleaser. The positive does not outweigh the negative though. Wait for the DVD.